Truth

I was recently asked by a group of younglings if I planned on doing my current job forever. Instantaneously, I replied with a resounding NO. They kind of laughed, and then, naturally, asked why. My response, though I was tempted to edit it, was because I couldn't imagine myself doing this forever. When they pressed me, asking why I had chosen my current career path, I again answered honestly with "I love to write." And those precocious little monsters pressed some more, and asked why I didn't write for a living. I paused, and thought for a minute. Why don't I write for a living? It's a question I've posed myself many times. I know it's what I want to be doing. I know that my calling could be accomplished through it, and that I could be happy and fulfilled and those things. I know that I could maintain my current lifestyle with some effort. I know my mother would be proud of her writer daughter, and I know that I would love my life; I would love doing all the things I do now, even my job, that much more if I just spent time writing. And so I answered honestly: it's too scary to write for a living. And I told them the truth. For me, writing is like bleeding, and it worries me that I would bleed myself to death if I were to write for a living. That I would put everything there is inside of me on paper, and that there would be nothing left. And even as I say that, I know it's not entirely true. Blood recreates itself. When you lose some, you make some more. And when you write your life, you create some more. And so there it is. A dream that for now stays undreamed even, because dreams sometimes happen in states of wakefulness.

Huge Changes

Not long ago, less than 7 years ago, I was an unhappy woman. I weighed over 300 lbs, I was hiding from myself, from things I am sure I still don't even know about. I hated my body, and looking back at the few pictures I have from that time period for good reason, and I hated myself. Almost a decade later, I am finally making change sin my life for the positive, and have big goals ahead. The first: by January 2013, become a certified personal trainer.

There are so many steps along the way. I have so much to learn, and have no idea where to start. Though, like anyone in my situation with a lot to learn in a short amount of time, I turned to the internet. Among my recent searches you will find "how hormones affect weight loss," "women's fitness," "nutrition basics," (that one was worthless...) and the list goes on. A friend recently suggested I start a blog detailing my journey- things I've tried, things that worked, things that don't work, resources I like, resources I don't like, etc.-and I'm mulling this idea over.

What I don't want is for this new endeavor to be meaningless. Not only should it be informative for myself, but also for my potential readers. And it should serve as a resource for potential clients. In my short time researching women's fitness issues, and as a woman myself, I've learned little about fitness and nutrition, and instead been subjected to countless worthless articles about...well, not much. I need to get myself edumacated. Quick.

And so, until I decide what to call this venture, I'll be posting my discoveries here. I'll label or tag them for easy reference, and hopefully you'll enjoy them along the way, between my inconsistent self-angsty ramblings that make up my other postings. May you be as strong as you are beautiful.