Deciding to be happy

I realized this last week that I've been miserable for so long this summer and it's all my fault.

You see, I went downtown to work on a fundraising project that needed to be done now, as in yesterday, or the day before. Needed to be complete and it wasn't. I didn't know what else to do, so I put on my shirt, grabbed a clipboard in a cheery hot pink color, and basically begged for five bucks from everyone that walked passed. I went into this knowing a smiling person was more likely to be successful. But it had been a long, stressful day at work followed up by my clutch going out on my pickup complete with an emergency trip to the repair shop, I was missing my workout to be there...all in all, you could say I just wanted to go home and curl into a ball. But instead, I pasted a fake smile onto my face, slapped giant sparkly sunglasses onto the top half, and hoped I could rustle up a couple hundred bucks.

As person after person said they already donate to the organization I was representing (yeah, sure you do. Receiving a flyer in the mail that EVERYONE gets doesn't count) I began to feel even less excited about being there. But as soon as my first donated fell into my collection plate, I began to feel encouraged. And the fake smile on my face was a little realer. And then, after 3 hours, I was having a blast!

And I realized something. I decided to be happy about the situation. And yes, I was encouraged by success, but I think at least in part, my success was because I decided I would be. And I needed to be. So I was.

This applies to happiness too. I don't like a lot about my life right now. I want a lot of it to change. I want a better job. One that I truly love and want to show up for each day. I want to make more money. I want to have less stress. I want a relationship, one that's meaningful and going somewhere. I want a better body. I want to be happier. And it struck me that I could be. I just needed to decide to be.

This is advice I've given to I don't know how many friends. When they start their pity party for the millionth time in a row, I suck it up, look them in the eye, and say "DO SOMETHING." And I don't know why I don't do the same for myself. This weekend has been eye opening. And I'm remembering to decide to be happy. Because I need it. Because I deserve it. And because I can be.